You’re always there

In the back of my mind

Like nails on a chalkboard

Constantly whispering

“You’re forever mine”

I push you down

I drown you out

I smile and laugh

It’s our little secret now

Try to explain you to  people

They say they understand

But I don’t believe them, I can’t believe them

Our pain has never been and will never be equal

Now you’re screaming

Telling me to “just do it”‘

Wishing I was dreaming

I want to throw my hands up and say “screw it”

Then, I look into my father’s eyes and see the helplessness and fear

I look into my mother’s eyes and see the agony and guilt

Dripping off my chin falls scolding tears

As I take a step back from the ledge I have built