For the past week, my anxiety has been high. I already have pretty heavy anxiety, so when I say high, I mean it feels like someone is sitting on my chest. Anxiety can make you feel like you’re crazy. You’re not crazy though. I’m not crazy either. Even though I might feel like it sometimes(a lot lately). This week in particular has been rough. I keep on finding myself worrying largely about this one topic:….Satisfaction. One thing about depression is that it causes you to think irrational thoughts, which really sucks. I’m just seventeen, I have a lot of goals, a lot of things I want to do and I’m going to do, I know my future is writing. So why am I worrying myself sick about being satisfied? Or never being satisfied? It’s illogical, yet I’m still doing it. That’s depression. That’s anxiety. It feels like your thoughts aren’t yours anymore. BUT they are. I’ve spent years being told “you have control, it’s up to you.” A lot of you have probably heard that before and god, it’s annoying because they don’t understand. Right? I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m starting to understand that phrase. Your mind is yours. When I catch myself worrying about satisfaction, I redirect. I focus on something else. Does it fix it? No. The thoughts come back, but it helps. Tomorrow I’m going to make a list of my goals, of things I have to look forward to. I’m just going to make it for the next year because it’s not good to look to far out. If you’re struggling with this, you should do it with me. Live your life in the moment, but be excited for your future.