For the past 4 years, I’ve felt alone. No, I am not an orphan. No, I don’t have a sob story about how my parents ran off to live in the Caribbean and left me with an illegitimate great-aunt. (No offense to anyone that actually happen to) I have a good, supportive family, a nice home, nice things, but I don’t really know exactly when that stopped being enough. I guess that is one of the down-sides of being undeniably different. Even though I still feel that I am alone, I am starting to come to the realization that even though no one can possibly know just how I feel, someone somewhere has be to able to relate to what I’m writing. Maybe through this site, I will be able to find that I am not completely alone, and, maybe, I can give someone else the same comfort.
stillhangingon 
Hey,
I’m writing ‘cause I was looking around on Instagram and found your posts.
27 years ago, when I was 23, I was in a car accident (I’m 50 now.). It was serious. I got busted up really bad. Two vertebra in my back got crushed. I’ve been paralyzed from the waist down and in a wheelchair ever since.
I live alone. Don’t have a lot of family left. What I do have, we love each other but we’re not close. I haven’t seen either of my two sisters in a few years. I have a couple of friends. One lives just across the street. I mentioned the friends because I don’t want to sound too pathetic here. Despite the solitude, being different from everyone else, and the limitations, I love life. I’m happy as can be. Just don’t have the most exciting social life in the world.
I’m writing to tell you that you’re not alone in what you’re going through. Not by a long shot. You’d be surprised at just how many of us there are out there who are in the same boat, yet almost all of ‘em feel the way you do. In fact, I started searching on Instagram because I was feeling the same way. And while my struggles might not be because of CP, I can still relate to most, if not all of ‘em.
I drive myself around and whenever I go out, I never run into someone else who’s in a wheelchair. Maybe the occasional older person but no one my age. In fact, I’m the only person I know who’s in a wheelchair. I stick out like a sore thumb when I go places. And while I’ve learned to deal with, I still can’t believe some of the reactions folks have when they see me.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is where it says we’re “fearfully and wonderfully made.” And we are. We’re quite fragile. And this is something that “the Norms” don’t realize. They might give us weird looks or avoid contact with us or whatever but the truth is, everyone one of ‘em are as fragile as we are. Their lives could change forever is a moment. Most of ‘em don’t think that.
And yeah, one of the hardest things about it is, there’s no one around who knows what it’s like being like this. That’s why I started looking around on Instagram. And I’ve seem quite a few people who do know. We’re not alone.
And something else I’ve noticed is that most of us have had to learn things that most “normal” people never will. We’ve had to learn to be much stronger than most folks. We’re much braver. We’ll stand up to a challenge without blinking while most others won’t.
There are a couple of Instagram accounts I’d like to tell you about. One is a 17 year old girl who has Crohn’s disease. Her account is crohnswarrior. Check her out. It’ll be worth it.
Another is bloonstuff. A 25 year old who has muscular dystrophy. Both these girls are amazing and know first hand our struggles. They can relate.
Anyway, God bless you my Friend for having the courage to post your Insta account and your blog. Keep taking care of yourself and never ever give up. You’re not alone in this…
Tim L.
Thank you so much for your kind words. You write with such kindness. If you ever want to email me, I’ll give you mine. It’s always good to know that you’re not alone.
Hey! Wow. Thank you for the reply to my comment. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. You know what? I’d like to send you e-mails along. Nothing heavy, just ramblings of a Dude who’s middle name should be “Mayhem.” (You wouldn’t believe how well that name fits me at times.) But yeah, if you wouldn’t mind me writing to you every now and again. I was looking on your blog again this morning and I can’t seem to find any recent posts. Granted, I’m not the brightest light bulb in the house so I prob’ly scrolled right past some recent things and just didn’t catch ’em. But the reason I brought it up is I want to ask if you would share with me how you’re doin’ now? I think the most recent thing I found was from 2015. If it’s hard to type or anything like that just say so and I’ll leave it at that. I have pretty good use of my hands and all but I’m a TERRIBLE typist. I have a good basic understanding of the English language but when I start trying to type out a thought…man….the first time I re-read what I’ve typed, it’s like reading Chinese or something. Soooo….I have to go back and re-type it with the hope that it at least sounds like human dialect. How much easier would it be if all communication was in the form of multiple choice? Ay? Ugh….Fall is definitely here. I LOVE this season, watching the leaves and all, but I gotta be honest. I am NOT a cold weather guy. I like heat. It’s not that cold yet, maybe in the low 50s this morning but still, those cold temps are coming. Oh well, there’s always next Spring.
Anyway, I hope you’re doin’ ok there. I was glad to see the e-mail. I was surprised to find out that some people who have the blogs only have them so they can make money. Not a lot of ’em but some do. It’s good to know that there are some real people behind the words and photos. So thank you again for your reply. I’m gonna keep you in my prayers. We really need ’em, you know? This world has become like another planet these days.
God bless you Jessi. Keep taking care of yourself and remember that giving up is never an option. We have to keep fighting the battles, even if it seems they’re always uphill.
Tim L.